Do You Blog With Integrity?

I want to begin with a thank you. I would never be where I am now without the help and support of my readers, fellow bloggers and my mentors. Thank you.

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When I was in elementary and middle school, I learned about why and how to properly cite sources in my writing.

When I wrote my Masters Thesis, I was required to use a certain format to cite my sources. I had several hundred sources I used. And even when I restated their ideas in my own words, I was required to cite properly or risk being kicked out of Grad School. And also, because it was the right thing to do. It was a No-Brainer.

In the blogosphere however, it seems there are VAST discrepancies among bloggers as to a common code of conduct. 

I wrote my first blog back in 2009. You won't find it so don't waste your time looking. It's offline now because it just didn't work for my style of writing. I started My Life As Lucille a little less than a year ago. And it finally fit what I wanted to write and to the audience I wanted to reach.

Since then, I've enjoyed successes that I'm very proud of through blogging. I am published in real books, I have been a ghost writer for several online magazines (I can't tell you which - hence the "ghost" part), and I've been syndicated on BlogHer - which is HUGE for me. And so many of my readers and blog friends were there to congratulate me.

But here's the thing. As a blogger's success grows, so does the need to protect ourselves and our ideas. Even more important, is the need to conduct ourselves as a community of writers, rather than a high school clique.

Since the very first post I wrote, I have made a purposeful effort to blog with integrity. Out of respect for my readers and fellow bloggers. What does this mean? 

Here are the rules I attempt to mindfully try to follow to assure my readers and my blog friends that I blog with integrity.

1. If I am inspired by another blogger's post and consequently write a post or use any part of their content, I mention and link to them. It's common courtesy and good etiquette.

2. If I borrow an idea, I cite the source. Especially if it is a fellow blogger. I realize there are no original ideas. But I.P. has to do with degrees of separation and timing. If I follow your blog and post your ideas within the week, I make sure I mention you. Because it's the right thing to do.

3. If I use a picture that isn't mine, I research to find out if it's under a Creative Commons license. If I can't cite the source, I will say it's not mine and I don't know the original source.

4. I avoid badmouthing and passive aggressive digs on my blog and on social media. It cheapens our craft, in my opinion. It also separates the amateurs from the professionals, the outstanding blogs from the mediocre.

5. If I am being paid to post or mention a product, I let my readers know so my intentions are clear.

And most importantly...

6. I do what I can to help and to be a mentor to other bloggers. I celebrate their successes, rather than envy them.

It turns out, I didn't invent this whole concept and I'm not alone in my beliefs.

Blog With Integrity Pledge:

The Blog with Integrity pledge was created in July 2009 to provide bloggers with a tangible and collective way to express our commitment to a simple code of blogging conduct.
It is the direct result of a series of conversations among four bloggers – Susan Getgood, Liz Gumbinner, Kristen Chase, and Julie Marsh. 

After a spring and early summer of polarizing debates about blogger compensation, sponsored posts and product reviews, an alarming increase in ethical lapses and idea theft, and a growing backlash against poor blogger relations practices, we believed it was time to refocus on integrity. 

The Blog with Integrity pledge recognizes that there’s no single right way to blog and more than enough room in the world for different approaches. 

What matters is the relationship with our readers. Meeting our commitment to them and to our community. Clear disclosure of our interests so they can evaluate our words. Treating others with respect. Taking responsibility for our words and actions.

Read the Pledge in its entirety: http://www.blogwithintegrity.com/?page_id=2

View My Pledge: http://www.blogwithintegrity.com/list-pledges.php?lettr=l

Sign The Pledge: http://www.blogwithintegrity.com/pledge-captcha.php

Other Resources Regarding Blogging and Intellectual Property:

Blogging And Intellectual Property
The Authors Guild
The Writer's Legal Guide
Blog With Integrity

Angelina Jolie – Crazy Like A Fox

So, I sort of like playing Devil's Advocate. And I rarely write about current events because everyone else is.

Today, my friend Molley over at A Mother Life posted about Angelina Jolie’s decision to opt for preventive surgery because she carries the BRCA gene. This gene has been shown in studies to cause a predisposition to cancer. 

There’s a topic that I haven’t seen many people discussing with regard to this whole debate.

Cancer, genetic predisposition, science, health history, genetics. Check, check, and check.

But not mental health.

I tend to like Angelina. I think she is beautiful and appears, from what I’ve seen in the media to be a good mother (so it must be true). And she seems to be a decent partner to Brad. I happen to think Brad is a complete and total douche canoe, but that’s irrelevant at this time. And don’t even get me started on the home-wrecker thing. Poor Jen is completely clueless.

Anyway...Angelina lopped off her jubblies. For personal reasons. It seems to have been a relatively significant concern, since her own mother died of cancer.

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I’m not qualified to say whether or not Angelina suffers from anxiety. But if she does, I wouldn’t be surprised. She lost her mother to a very ugly and scary disease. She and her mother were extremely close, especially after her father and mother split up. And I know that she previously disclosed having performed self-mutilating and other harmful behaviors. And that she has stated, "My Mother Was a "Better" Mom Than Me. I think she may have issues.

The average person has a normal fear of abandonment and loss. These are natural human feelings. But for those of us who have actually suffered loss of a close loved one to trauma or disease, our anxiety is often magnified to unbearable levels.

It changes us. 

Affects our moods. 

Our existence. 

Our decisions.

I suffer from anxiety myself. I cannot tell you how incredibly stressful circumstances are when they are out of my control. I will do almost anything within my scope of abilities to prevent that stress from consuming me and sending me spiraling out of control.

So I can absolutely understand why someone with the resources, money, and family history might make a seemingly drastic choice like Angelina Jolie did. Cancer or elective double mastectomy? Her choice minimized the risk of dying and leaving her children without a mother. At least in her own mind.

And let's be honest.  

She is in the business of whoring herself out for attention.

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Just saying.

And now, she is the absolute center of a full fledged media frenzy. Again. The whole world is engaged in a debate about Angie's boobies. Is cancer horrible? Yes. Was Angelina's decision shocking and drastic? Yes. Would I have done the same? Maybe. 

Either way, let's not forget. Negative press is still press. And we are taking the bait. Hook. Line. And sinker.

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Apparently, Rules Only Apply To Some Of Us

I'm a rule follower. It's just my personality. I know how some people feel about that. Baahhhhh...

Well, most rules are usually there for a reason.

Earlier this year, I was picking up my 10 year old Thing 1 from school at the end of the day. The children who are car riders walk out to the parking lot to meet their parents or whoever is picking them up.

On this particular day, I watched as two different cars backed up and almost hit children as they were crossing the lot. There are cones and a painted crosswalk, but it's a school. And the parking lot is total chaos.

The principal has sent out notes and warnings in newsletters. If the parents picking up must leave quickly, they are to park in the back row or the overflow lot. They are not to park in the front row and there is no backing up allowed.

About 2 months ago, there was a very close call when a group of three children were almost hit by a parent who doesn't feel the rules apply to her. There was a formal letter sent home to all parents and guardians. We were required to read it and send it back saying we have read it, understand it, and agree to abide by it for the children's safety.

And then, last week it happened again. Only this time, it was my daughter and husband who were nearly hit as Desi was walking Thing 1 up to the school in the morning. A van was backing up while the lot was full of children. Did I mention, there are a few repeat offenders? The person who nearly hit Desi and Thing 1 was one of them. It happens daily.

This parent and his wife always parks in the front row in the same spot so they can leave right away. Imagine how delayed they would be if they had run over my husband and child???

I am so pissed right now. I cannot even tell you.

It's not that there aren't options for parents who need to leave promptly. There are several other parking areas where parents can park and depart immediately. So why does this keep happening?

The principal has sent personal emails to this family because BOTH the mother and the father do it. Every. Flipping. Day! And the principal has sent personal emails to this family several times this year already.

I'm not usually finished working in time to pick Thing 1 up at dismissal and she goes to the after school care room. Today however, I happened to be finished in time to pick my daughter up at dismissal.

And because it's a small school, I knew exactly which vehicle and family who nearly hit Desi and Thing 1 last week. I saw the vehicle in question and Mrs. "Rules Don't Apply To Me" was sitting in the driver seat. I calmly walked up to her open window and asked, "Is your name So-And-So?"

"Yes."

"Well. Last week, your husband was parked in this very spot and backed up. You know. The way we're not supposed to until the children are out of the lot. And he almost hit my daughter and my husband with his van.

I was wondering, could you have a little discussion with him about this? I don't know how anyone could live with themselves if they hit a child in the school lot. I know I couldn't ever forgive myself if it was me."

She seemed a bit annoyed and defensive. She said yes she would with a half-hearted apology. She seemed impatient as if I was keeping her from more important business. So I kept on talking. You know. I can talk ALL day if I'm worked up. My hands were totally shaking, I was so upset.

I told her, "When I was in 2nd grade, one of my good friend's little brother was hit and killed by a bus in the parking lot of school. We all need to follow the rules here in the lot. For the safety of the children."

Ironically, she had a van full of her own children as I lectured her. I hope she felt like an ass. Not only because she and her husband do this every fucking time. But because her children got to hear about it from a fellow student's mother.

There are some rules that are less important than others. I get that. But rules like this one are not there to bend or be broken. Some rules are there for a very good reason. And yet, there are some people who don't seem to think that any rules apply to them. And they're teaching it to their children.

All I can say is this. She and her husband are damned lucky they haven't hit and hurt any of the children yet. And extra lucky my daughter and husband escaped unharmed. And super, especially lucky she caught me on a good day today. Or my language would have been FAR less tame. Just saying.