Blog-Anon

If you knew me in real life, you probably wouldn't have any idea about the things I hide on the inside. You would see a happy, silly, mom/wife/educator/writer. I hide things for lots of reasons. I'm ashamed. Or still in denial. Sometimes I'm just not strong enough to face my issues yet.

I have never seen Platoon, Or Schindler's List, or read The Notebook. I just can't. I know how they end. That sadness brings back memories of things I don't want to remember. So I avoid sadness. So much so, that I purposely joke and say funny things to make other people laugh. Because laughing feels better than crying. But I can't pretend it doesn't bother me. Those kinds of things can be toxic. And they start to breed negative thoughts in my head. To quote a friend I can't quote out loud, "don't go upstairs in the attic alone."

It's not good to be alone in my head for too long. I start to tell myself lies. Like how I am a failure at everything. And how nothing I do is good enough. And how I am failing as a mother. It really sucks up there in the attic. It's dark. And it smells funny. Like old people.

Part of what I get from writing here is the process of getting those thoughts out of my head so the attic isn't so cluttered any more. And your comments and encouragement each and every time are so very helpful. They give me strength and they remind me I'm not alone in the attic.

You know who some of the most amazing friends I've met are?

They are nurses, authors, fathers, educators, crafty diy ladies, artists, organizers, iPhone app inventors, sports writers, scientists, film and broadcast personalities, college students, social media executives, East Coast snobs and West Coast biotches. I could go on and on.

Some are even BLOGGERS. 

Whether or not you are ready to face your elephants, whether you are a blogger or a reader or both. I know you. Because I am you. And we're a lot more alike than some of us are able to share because we're not all anonymous. It isn't safe. We can't unfriend or block people in real life when they are not supportive. We can't un-share once something is out in the open.

I've always suffered from over-sharing, myself. I open my mouth, and shit just flies right out. Every time. So I get that not everyone can or even wants to share. I suppose that's why I keep mostly anonymous here. I understand if you can't share or aren't ready. Maybe you have nothing to share.

Maybe you had a very happy, healthy upbringing and there's nothing much to share. Maybe you don't suffer from anxiety or depression. Maybe your child doesn't have a disability. Maybe you haven't suffered the loss of a child. Maybe you don't even have children yet. You might be married. Or divorced. Or maybe you are gay or bi. Maybe you have things you're still hiding from yourself about how much more important it is to appear perfect to others. Maybe you don't have insecurities about your weight, or the way you look, or your age. Maybe your career is going perfectly and you're set for life. Maybe your family doesn't have issues. Maybe it's just not safe for you. That's ok too.

Some of us hide behind our handle, or a phony facebook profile like I do. Or we hide behind a blog where we share our DIY Pottery Barn painted furniture tutorial. Or we hide behind a laugh and a smile. Or behind the perfect Pinterest board. Or our clever 142 character one-liners on Twitter. Or we hide behind our desk at work. Or behind our children. Yes. I've done this too. It's o.k. to hide. But be sure to stay out of the attic unless you bring a friend with. It's not safe to stay there alone either.

I want to give you all a deeply heart-felt thank you. I feel like my blogs have been too whiny and depressing lately. But it's what I'm working through right now. You have no idea how much I have struggled with facing my issues before we met, even though I may joke about them tongue-in cheek at times.

I am talking to every one of you who came, read, shared with me privately, or in comments, on social media, chat, or in real life (all 3 of you). You supported me. Like a good friend should. You have helped me so I could help others. Isn't that why we share?

Just consider this our little meeting place. 

Blog-Anon. 

Like A.A. for real life




P.S. You can find me Here when I'm not here.


Please contact me if you would like to share a guest post anonymously or in person.

Our elephants can be friends!




39 comments:

  1. Ooh a place to dump! Can I make up a sassy pseudonym... OoH the scope is endless. :P Where do I sign, where do I sign!

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    1. Yes. Do dump. It feels better. You know where to find me. ;-)

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  2. Love you for being so supportive of our demons-some of us sure need a place to get them out!

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    1. <3 I have to do this. For my daughters. And my friends.

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  3. Love it! That's exactly what my blog is, a place for me to vent and get it out of my head. Great post!

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    1. It's a drag that so many of us don't have that outlet. I was sort of worried (again) about sharing. But I get so much positive feedback that I build a little more courage each day. Now...I'm going over to creep your blog.

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  4. You write so well that you sound real, not icky.

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    1. That just made me laugh so hard! "not icky" hahahahah!

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  5. You have not been whiny! It takes big balls to write and share the things you have, you should be proud of what you have gotten out. I know sometimes for me writing the things in my attic it is exhausting and excruciating and the thought of publishing it is horrifying, but when i do its liberating and i am glad i got it out of my head. I think that there are more of us out there that would join the Blog-Anon than you would think! Thank you for sharing, and again you have not been whiny!

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    1. Thanks. I'm not kidding about the Blog-Anon either. At all.

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  6. I blog under a pseudonym, too. For different reasons, perhaps, but I don't think that makes either of us sound less real. Less perfect, perhaps. (I came from A Mother Life's Hump Day Hookup.)

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    1. Nice to meet you. People get creeped out when I send them a friend request on facebook. I get that. There are a lot of weirdos out there.

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  7. My motto has always been "show me a person who has a perfect life and I'll show you A BIG FAT LIAR". We all have problems, big or small. EVERY SINGLE PERSON!

    I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I'm for finding this whole blog thing. I keep anonymous on my blog/Facebook/twitter for my own reasons. Mostly because this is all mine, only mine. With my IRL family and friends we know everything (almost) about each other. I love that I have something that is only mine.

    And you haven't been whining. This is your blog and you're allowed to write whatever is on your mind. People that love to read your stuff & that support you will always come and those that are just looking for meaningless funnies all the time well you don't even need them cause they're not true supporters.

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    1. "I'll show you a BIG FAT LIAR" lmao! Right? But even I don't say this out loud. I hide and pretend. I'm sort of a liar too. Only not a very good one, apparently.

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  8. You're so not alone in the attic and I am exactly the same. I hide behind humor and happiness because I don't want to face the sadness either. But you're right, the blog helps us release some of the moth ball ridden clutter in the attic. Thank you so much for this post and I'm SO happy we're friends now! <3

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  9. you're such an amazing person... and I'm so glad to have twitter-met you!

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  10. You are one of the special bloggers that puts yourself out there in a way that your readers instantly feel like they have known you forever. Keep it up lady!

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    1. Thanks. Some days, I'm not sure if I'm putting too much out. I guess that's for you all to decide.

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  11. You blog to unclutter the attic, and we read because you are funny, open and honest. It's a win-win!

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    1. Thanks. Now if only I could unclutter my house. And my hard drive that's ready to crash with only 10% memory left.

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  12. I totally understand. Why do I insist on watching them? I'm pretty sure I'm some kind of masochist because I love me some wallowing. Oh my fuck, do I ever. I don't know why. People who know me would describe me as happy & optimistic, but that's my defense . . . I guess.

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    1. Yep. I get it. Defense or offense. We gotta choose one or the other. I love your humor though. And your "giveaways." Lube lube lube...

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  13. I have always thought that there should be a place where we can write the letters we never really have to guts to send. We can even "name" the person because hey no one would ever know who you are talking about. Imagine the sense of closure!!

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    1. Start writing. I'll make a home for them.

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  14. First of all it's nice to know that other people have scary attics I was beginning to think it might just be mine. My name is Outsmarted Mommy (yup my parents actually named me that) and I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism...always have. Thank you for this post.

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    1. Oh & I love the idea of being able to write something anonymously that we may not otherwise post. You are onto something here.

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    2. I am so glad to meet you! Thank you for stopping and reading my post. I have more stuff in my head. I hope you'll come back soon. ;-)

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  15. awwww This touched my heart. I use to hide...in fact was trying to escape realities in my own word. Things fell apart and now putting it all back together. I think if we all spoke more candidly we would see how much we each have in common with one another. :) Big hugs!!!

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    1. Thank you so much. Unfortunately, it isn't very easy to speak candidly in real life. Especially now with people labeling everyone crazy and treating mental illness like a choice. Nice to meet you.

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  16. I love the idea of having a Blog-Anon. I've hidden for a very long time, and blogging has helped me to come out more in the open. Thank you for helping to de-stigmatize mental illness.

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    1. I'm working on it. If you have elephants, invite them over. You can email me and we'll talk. ;-)

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  17. Happy Wordless.
    Thanks for link up at my blog.
    Have a nice day.
    Nan
    http://www.blogshe.net

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    1. You totally didn't even read this post, did you... it's ok. Have a nice day. ;-)

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  18. HI,
    It's lovely blog hop Thursdays, I stopped by to show your blog some love! If you could subscribe to mine :

    http://thesingleparenttrials.blogspot.com/

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  19. I love this post. VERY well said :-)

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  20. Oh yes this! I would love a spot to anonymously dump all my crap. It's so much cheaper than therapy!

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  21. Oh yes this!! I would love a place to anonymously dump all my crap. It would be so much cheaper than the therapy I probably can't avoid for much longer. =)

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Well HELLOOOO! I LOVE comments SO much! And don't forget to come back soon. xoxoxo Lucy

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