I loathe shopping. I know! Right? Not natural for a woman to hate shopping. But I do. If I never had to shop again, it would be too soon. The people who invented Pea Pod and School Pak were fricking genius. Why can’t I think of things like that?
When I left in June with the girl children, Thing 1 and Thing 2, I was fresh out from closing up my in-home business and really needed a break. I had grand plans for R & R for the summer. But it wasn’t to be. We returned minus a minvan and camper.
Since then, we have spent the past two weeks shopping for cars. It goes like this.
We spend 27 hours on the internet auto sites looking at inventory, finance options, and promotions.
Desi makes a list of all of the interesting vehicles in a spread sheet. He offers to graph the "trends" for me. I pass. We finally have it narrowed down to a favorite.
We stop in the car lot. We get out of our vehicle. The “sales representative” quickly spots us and shuffles over with a grin and a knowing look on his face. Balloons for the kids? Pony rides? Yah! They’ve got all of it! And in
they’ll even throw in a beer at signing. True story. You leave with a pile of
papers detailing the terms of your investment. Feeling very used. And violated.
Shopping is a lot like seeing a proctologist, in my opinion. I know I'm going to take one for the home team. It’s just a matter of how painful it’s going to be.
School supply shopping is the worst of all. I was a public school teacher for twelve years before I had a child of my own in school. I must say, I am far more sympathetic towards parents during back to school now than I was before.
I’ve prepared the following commentary for my children’s school regarding supplies:
Backpack. Grade 3 needs rolling type. Because the teacher is a merciless dictator who sends home 26 pounds of books per night as homework. Seriously. I weighed them. You should also add 25 red pens each to that list. The teacher actually ran out of red pens two years in a row. I wish I was kidding.
Crayons: Crayola, please. (Kindergarten needs large type)
UH… How about Rose Art? Because I’ve already been to Walgreen’s, CVS, Kmart, and Target and there are ZERO packs of 8 Jumbo Crayola Crayons left. Plus, my kindergartener actually uses the regular crayons. Am I damaging her fine motor skills by allowing this???
In addition, there are NO packs of “pink only” pencil-top erasers to be found in the tri-state area. Will mixed colors do? And the Crayola Wide/Chisel-Tip washable art markers, 8 standard colors are really difficult to find. I found 10 packs. I found 18 packs. No 8 packs. For real.
And I see you are asking only Kindergarteners to bring band aids. Is that because they’re the only kids who bleed?
I realize it is August already. I should have been on top of this supply list in June when I got my first
End catalog. Alas, I decided to spend my recreational time digging glass out of
my foot and filling out insurance forms. Back-To-School Land
I’m hoping to finish up on the list this week with the antibacterial wipes, Kleenex, paper towels, award stickers, nap mat, P.E. clothes (labeled), oversized shirts/smocks, and black ink pens - eraseable preferred.
I must admit, the people at Walgreen’s think I’m a bit touched after they heard me talking to myself in the loose leaf paper section.
“What do you mean there is NO wide ruled paper? Well, they’re getting college lined paper whether they like it or not.”
Is shopping physically painful for you too?
I'll pass the lube and warm the seat for you.
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